Home | Archives & Cast | Shop | Contact Kel
Home | Archives & Cast | Shop | Contact Kel


Here’s a tried and true conversation killer, an opening gambit certain to make any prospective date, housemate or coworker adopt an expression not dissimilar to that of a fox just before it gnaws off its own limb to escape a coil spring leg trap.
Brace yourselves, 'cause here it is: “I had the weirdest dream last night…”
It’s probably the most excruciating topic of conversation in the world, so please do pardon this, but… I had the weirdest dream last (Friday) night. The first Pepperpot Piper dream I’ve ever had, kind of a Scooby Doo, Pepperpot Piper mash-up…
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, don’t click away, I only retained a fragment of it so I’ll make this really, really quick:

I woke up, 3:15 AM-ish, and scribbled the dream down on a DMV envelope with a ClearPoint 0.5mm mechanical pencil.
The scene was high ceilinged, a dark, lush, wood paneled interior. A mansion maybe?
Pepperpot’s there. She’s wearing an ankle length fur coat with a big cowl collar. She’s standing beside a jetpack-hero-type guy not unlike Commando Cody. He’s wearing a leather flight jacket, jodhpurs, boots, jetpack, the works.
They’re facing down a very thin, very tall, very old man in a black suit and black bow tie. Curiously, it’s vital to my dreaming brain to supply him with red-tinted pince-nez glasses, we’ll never know why.
The old guy snarls, “I would’ve gotten away with it, Jetpack, if it wasn’t for you and your little fan dancer friend!”
Pepperpot asks him,“I get the trapdoor and the acid pit, but what’s with the gorilla suit?”

The old guy looks disgusted and tells her, “It’s canon!”

Then I woke up. A stake bed farm truck jounced by outside, painting our bedroom with a sweep of headlights. I swear though, what I recall of the dream really did happen the way I’ve described it.

I only wish I could come up with stuff that good while I’m awake.


Pepperpot Piper is written & illustrated by Joseph Kelly
All content copyright © Joseph Kelly
All rights reserved